I was born into a Catholic family, the sixth of nine children. I received faith within this large family and have always kept it. In my teens I was part of Catholic action movements. That's when I really took my faith into my own hands.
I had heard of the Carmel in my family because one of my aunts was a Carmelite in China. Although I was sure that one day I would be a Carmelite, at the same time, that didn't make me so happy! (laughs) Like all little girls, I wanted to play, to be an air hostess, a doctor, to always be in a relationship of affection and friendship with the members of my family and my many friends. ,…
My parents wanted us to have a job in hand before committing to a vocation, be it marriage or religious life, which is why I started my medical studies. But after two years of study, I had the equivalent of nursing, so I could leave. The good Lord took me during that year: if I wanted, it was now! And I said yes…dazzled by his love.
The Carmel of Lisieux, that was not planned. There was a Carmel in my hometown that, because of my aunt, my family was very close to, so I was worried that we were too close. It was already painful enough to leave my family (at the time, there were two gates in the visiting room between a Carmelite and her parents!), so I preferred the break to be frank and put a little distance. “Circumstances” led me to make a retreat at the Carmel of Lisieux. And I have been a happy Carmelite there for 48 years now...
But I didn't go there for Thérèse! In my parents' library, around the age of twelve, I had spotted Story of a Soul, I bought it, read it and but I can't say that I was enchanted: I found That was flying too high for me!
To tell the truth, if I had always wanted to be a Carmelite, I knew nothing of the life of the Carmel nor of its spirituality. It was not until the year when I understood that the Lord was asking me to enter it without delay that I read Elisabeth of the Trinity, and there I said to myself: "That's what I want" . This life of prayer, of silence, for Him alone, the Lord Jesus, and for others. I remember that one day, in a Catholic action meeting, I said how little influence we could have on our loved ones, our work and study colleagues. We might live righteously and as Christians, but our faith did not interest them. While entering the carmel, I knew that I would join these people directly, and well beyond: I would go from retail to wholesale if one can say but this trade, it is God who s will take care of it: instead of trying to do good here or there in a very small radius, I give everything to the Lord and He will spread it everywhere. It is this missionary desire that attracted me to Carmel! I am deeply touched to see the fruit borne by Thérèse's hidden and prayerful life. She lived it in faith, without seeing this fruit, but we are lucky enough to see it and her example proves to us that a Carmelite life has a price.
It was only here that I really discovered her, Thérèse, who is really present with us. Little by little she tamed me and she became my sister, and I feel that today I live from her message.
The Word of the Bible that lives in me is found in John 4: My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work. » There is a will of love of God on me, as on everyone, and He sends me to do this will and accomplish this work which is not mine, which is the work of the Father. It is not me who gave myself the vocation, I receive it, and receive it as a gift.
my great desire : see God, SEE HIM !!! That's what we all want here...
A Carmelite Sister
